The REAL monkey story

The REAL Monkey story

This is probably the most famous story. It took place in may years ago. Tyll's Wife Alba got a whitefaced monkey against the protests of Tyll. Monkeys belong in the jungle with other monkeys. Too late the monkey, Poncho, was now a member of the household.
One day Tyll came home from the airport after have picked up Ruby, the now one eyed cat, who had been at the vet in La Ceiba. Tyll gets out of the taxi to screams: The monkey...its out...its out...

Poncho would once in a while break out of his cage and break into the house behind the diveshop and cause havoc like biting and stealing Tyll's teeth from the cup next to his bed. Of course the teeth did not fit Poncho. Tyll once in self defence and annoyment tried to shoot the monkey, but missed. Luckily he also missed the propane tank behind the wall. Alba still would not let the monkey go to a wildlife hebab center on the mainland.
Tyll decided to build a safer cage and thought things were all good untill the day he got out of the taxi with Ruby the one eyed cat.

Tyll: "So here I stand, with the cat carrier in hand, how in the blazed did Poncho get out? He is screaming and jumping up and down, and I can't get into my house. Alba could with all her best will not get him back into his cage. I decided my presence would only stir things up and decided to go bail my forever sinking boat, Con Permiso.
Poncho charges after me, but stops at 6 inches of water. The rest of the afternoon the monkey is pacing from the beach to the shop and back.

I hear screams, Poncho had bitten people. I see a taxi zooms of to the hospital with a bite victim. Every few minutes Pocho charges at me again, but I am still trapped on the boat, and then he retreats to the street to terrorize. What a nightmare. Somebody finally brings my gun. But I can't get a shot at this crazy monkey, because of a small vigilante group who try to chase Poncho away.The sun went down and Poncho went into hiding. I could finally leave the boat and have a beer at Pauls place and get advice.
We go inspect the cage to see how the mokey got out. Then I walk out to the road and call Ponchos name.
West End Divers responded he was underneath their deck. The chase began.I don't think anyone hit it, Someone said: Maybe we hit it, lets go home, no monkey.
It was about 10.30 pm when I got home and was securing the door when Poncho attacked out of nowwhere.
A fight with a monkey resulting in a broken panalite wall, a broken pvc pipe. Naturally a geyser erupted. Poncho headed for the hills. Soaking wet in the dark I got the waterpipe fixed. But what a mess."


Tyll: "5 am. Am lying in bed with close on and my gun. Just in case. I thought I was dreaming, but no, that bite was REAL. I shot at the monkey but also hit my hand and had to go to La Ceiba with the first ferry. 5 bites I counted. Poncho was maybe hurt but not dead and had run into hiding behind something.
Alba later told that the watchman from next door found Poncho and delivered him the "coup de grace" with his machete and took him home and ate him."

You would think the monkey story will be over now? Nope, now comes the court part.

Tyll: "Out of 6 people who were bitten only 2 took us to court and the summons went by way of the health department. They wanted: 1) the monkeys head 2)me 3)monkey papers (the monkey was stew and I was in La ceiba). They went and was never heard of again. But then someone tried to sue me for lps 6000 damage and doctor bills. My wife went to the court, as the monkey was in her name, Poncho
Gomez. And she had found the monkey papers. Problem was the monkey resided on my property. So what if someone parks their car on your property and runs into someone, am I responsible. The judge saw the wisdom in that. "

We are not finished yet, but almost.

Tyll: "3 rd day in court. 1 victim had lied about having to go to La
Ceiba hospital for the bite wounds. Bill was lps 500 and from Hospital in Coxen Hole.

Final court day. So finally last court day the judge made his decicion:
Alva had to pay lps 500 to the girl and pay a taxidriver. A man brought up: Is it not illegal to shoot monkeys, there is a lps 5000 fine and up to 6 month jail. Well, the judge pondered : yes, but the monkey attacked Tyll in bed. Besides the watchman commited the final coup the grace on him and took him home to eat.
the man:-yes but gringos can go around and shooting monkeys, a heritage of Honduras, he insisted.
Our laywer countered: There is some confusion as to who pulled the trigger. (rumor had that the monkey shot Tyll)
AHA the man says, isn't it against the law to shout gringos as well?
Judge replies. Yes, but that does not come under jurisdiction of the department of agriculture.
MONKEY CASE CLOSED!!!